


Nothing But the Earth and Sky

by haldoor



Series: All That the Universe Allows [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, First Dates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-24 16:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1611224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/pseuds/haldoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Warnings/Spoilers:</b> None for the show; beware of angst!<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> I have not suddenly been gifted with rights; I make up these stories for free<br/><b>Beta:</b> <span class="ljuser i-ljuser i-ljuser-type-P"></span><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://siluria.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://siluria.livejournal.com/"></a><b>siluria</b> once again helped me more than she realizes.<br/><b>Summary:</b> In the last part, Steve crashed his truck and ended up badly concussed, which affected his memories of the last few months.  In this part we start off where Danny, having re-confessed his own feelings for Steve, has just found out how Steve really feels about him<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Danny

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third and final part to my series, All That the Universe Allows, in which Steve has been involved with Pete, a guy 15 years younger than him, to Danny's initial disapproval. This part alternates between Danny and Steve's POVs, and is nine completed chapters long.

Danny barely remembered the drive home. Steve's words spun around and around inside his head.

 _My God, Danny, I always wanted you._ You _. Just you._

If only Danny had known his own heart from the beginning; _before_ Steve had met Pete.

Hell, even if he'd realized that night when he surprised them together on Steve's lanai. If he'd said something then, or soon after; convinced Steve that they needed to be together before Steve had the chance to develop the relationship with Pete as far as he had.

And now, knowing what he had just heard direct from the horse's mouth, Danny didn't have a clue what to do next beyond running away. Despite the fact that Steve clearly didn't remember enough about what he had with Pete to feel as he had before the accident, Danny knew him well enough to understand that there was no way he would let the kid down. It wasn't in Steve's nature to do something so selfish as dumping him in order to go after a relationship with Danny.

And what Danny hated even more was that he couldn't find it inside himself to let him do it either.

Pulling up sharply outside his place, Danny blinked hard, wondering how it was he'd reached his own door without remembering anything of the journey apart from his swirling thoughts. Shaking his head at the inherent danger of driving while preoccupied, he yanked the keys out of the Camaro and got out, slamming the door and then jamming his finger into the lock button on the remote as he stalked towards his house.

He kicked the door shut behind him, collapsed onto his couch, and pressed his fingers into his eyes.

How the hell he was supposed to go back to work like nothing had changed, he didn't have a clue. He'd been hit hard enough when his own feelings had become clear to him, and then whacked a second time when Steve had chosen Pete over him. This was the third strike, and Danny decided it felt like being struck out of the major leagues.

~//~

"You don't look so hot, Danny; you okay?" Chin asked as soon as Danny set foot into HQ the next day.

Danny waved him off. "I'm fine, Chin. What have we got?"

Chin's eyebrows arched disbelievingly, but he didn't push the issue. "Body found last night just before midnight. Male, aged between 18 and 25, probably a male prostitute. Nothing special in that, you might think, but this is the third one in three weeks, and the Governor wants us to look into it."

Danny frowned, but nodded.

Chin gestured to the computer table, where Kono was shifting things around.

"Hey Danny," she said, looking up. "You alright?"

"Not you too," Danny sighed. "I'm fine. Tell me why the Governor wants us on this one?"

Kono exchanged a look with Chin, who lifted his brows at her in some kind of signal that Danny chose to ignore, and said, "Apparently, the last victim was seen in the company of the son of John Mitchelson – CEO of Hightower Microsystems and close friend of Governor Denning's – just before he died. Denning managed to keep that information out of circulation, but with another body turning up it's going to be hard for that to be kept on the down-low, especially now the press have picked it up. You may have heard something on the news already?"

Danny shook his head. As if he'd had his mind on anything except what had transpired yesterday between himself and Steve.

Chin picked up the story. "Anyway, they're calling this the Kai'ili Killer because all three bodies were found in fleapit motels on Kai'ili Boulevard. So far the press haven't managed to latch onto Mitchelson Junior's 'friendship' with the second hustler, and his father's hoping to keep it that way, but the Governor wants us to move on the case and get this killer off the streets as quickly as we can, because we all know the longer it takes the more digging the media will do."

"Right." Danny pushed his sleeves up, and with them, all thoughts about Steve to the back of his head. "What do we have so far?"

~//~

It was a long day. Much longer than Danny would have liked.

The dead hustlers turned out to _all_ have connections to Robert Mitchelson, and their interview with the CEO's son had been less than successful in extracting information beyond the fact that he claimed not to have had sex with any of them, nor had he apparently killed them. His alibi for each murder was rock solid too, so Danny and the team had no choice but to strike him out as a suspect, and his father had refused to allow them to continue questioning unless they arrested him. And of course, they had no grounds for that.

The rest of the day had been spent going over what little they knew about each of the young men and seeking other people they were known to have kept company with; no easy task considering the anonymity of most of their clients.

The one thing Danny, Chin and Kono all agreed on was that the killer was likely to strike again, and going by the timing on the three murders so far, it would be within the week, so they didn't have much time to act before the next kid died.

The one good thing about the case was that it gave Danny no time to think about Steve or how he was going to face him again.

He could only hope that Steve felt just as awkward about it, and would keep away from HQ for the time being. With any luck, he'd get his memory back and be for Pete what he wasn't able to be for Danny.

~//~//~


	2. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Pete seem to be getting on better, but it seems it's not that simple.

"You okay?" Pete's expression was concerned – nothing new in itself – but there was a question in his eyes that hadn't been there before Steve's last conversation with Danny.

"I'm fine, Pete; don't fuss." Steve managed a smile and a touch to the hand Pete had put on Steve's shoulder as he'd spoken. 

"Yeah," Pete agreed, but he sat down in the chair perpendicular to Steve's, chewing on his lip.

Steve just looked at him for a few minutes, taking in the expression, but unprepared to volunteer what had passed between himself and Danny the night before.

Pete studied him for a little longer. "Something happened last night with Danny didn't it? You're too quiet today."

"Didn't think I was any less talkative than yesterday."

"That's right, avoid the real question."

"Which is?" Steve almost snarled, though he knew Pete didn't deserve it.

Pete looked away, his expression reminding Steve so much of Danny for a moment it was almost painful. When he turned back, his eyes were full of sorrow. "When were you going to tell me?"

Steve's heart thudded hard. How much had he worked out? "Tell you what?"

"You don't remember any of it, do you? About us."

Steve had underestimated Pete; he'd decided that Pete couldn't have figured out that Steve didn't remember their relationship. Some of what he must have seen in Pete finally became clear.

"I'm so sorry," was all Steve could get out as he bowed his head in shame. 

"It's not your fault, Steve. You hit your head. Concussion is tricky; the doctors don't know when or even _if_ you'll recover all the memories you lost."

"But I should have told you the truth. I know this must be difficult for you." The guilt Steve felt about his lack of feeling for Pete rose like bile in his throat. "I don't even know where to go from here."

"Neither do I, Steve but we'll work it out."

Steve lifted his head in surprise. "You're going to stay with me? Knowing that I don't remember what we had?"

Pete looked heavenward for a second, and then leaned forward to grasp Steve's good hand. "I love you. I'll do anything I can to get the Steve who loved me back."

Steve's heart sank all over again. He squeezed Pete's hand, and tried his hardest to look relieved, but all he could think of was Danny's lost look and how much he wanted to make him smile again.

~//~ 

It was a couple of days later and Steve itched to get back to work again, but on his latest visit to the doctor he'd been ordered to have at least another week off work; he was still having frequent headaches and issues with his memories, and although he'd tried to lie about both things, Pete hadn't allowed it. He'd insisted on telling the doctor, and the look he'd given Steve had guilted him into agreeing that he wasn't as back to normal as he would have liked.

At home, he was ready to punch something, and if Pete hadn't suggested a gentle jog which the doc had agreed would probably be okay as long as he kept his broken arm in the sling, then he'd already have hit something by now. As it turned out, the jog with Pete had been half the length Steve was aiming for, but if he was honest, it was as much as he could manage in his current physical state.

"Jesus, I feel as weak as a kitten," he moaned as he lowered himself carefully onto the couch.

Pete landed softly beside Steve's good arm and turned to grin at him. "Not your usual look, I'll give you that, but I kinda like it."

Steve snorted as he offered Pete a fond look. It had been easier between them since the truth had come out, and Pete wasn't always bad company, though they hadn't exactly been intimate yet. "I'm pretty sure it's not why you started seeing me, though. Aren't you sick of being my nursemaid?"

Pete shifted closer, smiling wistfully. "It wasn't exactly what I signed up for, no, but it's what you do for someone you love."

Before Steve could move away, Pete was kissing him, one hand cupping the side of Steve's face. He tasted good, and Steve couldn't help but respond, a spiral of desire growing low in his belly. The kiss deepened and Pete shifted again, sliding a leg over Steve's and straddling him almost without their lips parting.

"Mmm…" Steve pushed him away gently, startled into confusion by his own desire. "We shouldn't…"

Pete didn't let Steve's hesitation put him off though, and he was back, soft lips teasing Steve's as his hands stroked under Steve's t-shirt, sending shivers of need through him. 

~//~

"You may have been weak as a kitten before, but you were more like a tiger just now," Pete murmured softly into Steve's ear thirty-five minutes later as they lay in Steve's bed, Steve on his back and Pete propped on one arm beside him.

Steve smiled at him sideways. He was a good-looking kid, and knew what he was doing in bed; there was no doubt of that. Steve was feeling pretty great now – energized even. Despite how confused he'd been feeling about their relationship, there was definitely a connection between them; it hadn't felt like the sex was just about getting off tonight. "You were pretty good too," he murmured back, leaning in for a slow kiss.

As they parted, Pete gave him a look filled with such adoration that Steve could barely stand it. A stab of guilt went through him suddenly at the realization that this could have been Steve and Danny a few short months ago – something he'd always wanted – if only he'd understood what was going on in Danny's head before he'd met Pete.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Pete asked as Steve turned away.

"What? No, I'm not," Steve said, pushing the bedding back and sitting up, his back to Pete. He could hear Pete sit up behind him as he reached for his shorts and awkwardly pulled them on – it was tricky even with the arm not in a sling – then stood to head for the bathroom without looking at Pete.

"Then give me another reason for that look on your face, and why you turned away so quickly?"

Steve stopped in the doorway and managed to look back at Pete, licking his lips and evening out his expression. "Okay, so I think about him sometimes; it's inevitable after everything that's happened."

Pete looked away, nodding. "I guess it is. Does he know you're in love with him?"

"I'm not… Pete, I…"

Pete met his eyes again. "Don't bother denying it, Steve. It's been obvious to me since the day you came home. I tried to ignore it, and I even thought… just now, that what we have could be as good as it was, but seeing him cross your mind so soon after we made love for the first time in so long… I'm beginning to think it was a mistake."

Steve didn't know what to say. He let his eyes wander away from Pete while he tried to come up with some reassuring words.

"You can't even tell me it wasn't, can you?"

"Pete…"

"Who were you thinking of when you were buried inside me? Your eyes… I could swear they were full of love, but… were you imagining I was him?"

"No, I swear to you, it was you I was seeing! I… I can't help what I feel, Pete, but I do care for you; what happened tonight was about _us_ not about what I wished I could have with Danny."

Pete's lip curled up at one side. "I knew… I knew you wanted that with him. Does he want it too? Is that why everything changed this last week; because he told you?"

"Yes, I suppose it was," Steve had to admit. He moved back to the bed, sitting down on the edge and reaching for Pete's hand with his good one. "I knew how I felt about him, but I didn't realize he returned those feelings until the other day… or, should I say a few days before the accident, not that I remember him telling me then."

"What made him tell you this time?" Sadness in Pete's eyes sent another shaft of guilt through Steve.

"Because I asked him why he didn't like me being with you; I couldn't remember if I was supposed to already know."

"And of course he couldn't resist telling you…" Pete's voice held a waver, and he dropped his eyes to look at where their hands were still joined. When he looked up again, a crease had formed on his forehead. "Is that why you went for that drive in the first place? Because of an argument you had after he told you?"

"I don't remember." It didn't feel true, but Steve had to be honest.

"I've been blaming myself…" Pete let go of Steve's hand and moved off the bed, away from Steve. " _He_ may have caused you to do what you did out there, and I've been blaming myself for not missing you sooner, when I didn't even know you'd had a fight with him. How could he… how could he let me do that? He must have known…"

Steve stood up, anger beginning to grow. "He couldn't know that, Pete. It wasn't Danny's fault any more than it was yours. For Christ's sake, whatever either of you did or said, it was _me_ who crashed the truck; I got myself hurt."

"But you didn't tell me any of this; you let me believe…"

"I didn't remember, Pete. You know that! And Danny… he couldn't know how I'd react to anything he'd said."

"But wouldn't you think…" Pete had pulled on his shorts and was now gazing out the window of the bedroom into the deepest blue twilight. He looked back over his shoulder sadly at Steve. "In his place, I'd have added two and two together and worked out why you weren't thinking clearly enough to avoid an accident. I'm pretty damned certain that if Danny had been the one in your position, I wouldn't have let his boyfriend think it was his fault if Danny wasn't found sooner."

Steve wasn't sure he followed the logic, but maybe it was the post-concussive confusion. "I doubt that Danny even realized it had anything to do with what he had or hadn't said to me."

Pete's eyes filled with tears and he tried to smile through them, though he wasn't pulling it off. "Look at you; even though it's likely he pushed you to drive out to nowhere in the rain that afternoon, all you can do is defend him."

"Pete… it's not Danny's fault. Can't you see that?"

Steve felt the guilt surface again as he moved closer to Pete. He couldn't help his defense of Danny, but perhaps Pete was right; he was thinking more about Danny than he could manage to think about Pete.

Pete held up both hands, tears running down his face. "Don't. Just don't," he said thickly as Steve attempted to embrace him. 

Steve backed off, close to tears himself.

"This isn't going to work, is it? Not ever. Not even if you get your memory back. I was stupid to think I could compete. Goddamn him!" Pete swiped angrily at his tears as Steve stood by in abject misery, unable to do anything. "We had something, you and I, and now… it's like it never even existed, thanks to him." He sniffed loudly, rounding Steve, and grabbed at his clothes as he stumbled from the room.

Steve watched him leave, the thump of his heart the only steady thing in his world, even though it felt close to breaking.

~//~//~


	3. Danny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and the team close the case, and Danny eventually finds time to visit Steve

"I need to talk to you."

Danny gripped the phone hard, thinking. He was reluctant to see Steve at this point; sure that any conversation they could have wouldn't result in anything good for either of them. "Steve, I can't talk at the moment. We have this case…"

"I can help with that, then we-"

"No, Steve. You're on medical leave, and we have it under control."

"But, Danny…" 

Steve sounded close to tears. His head injury was obviously still an issue if the guy was falling apart just because of their last conversation. 

"Steve, you need to rest. And I need to catch a guy who's killing teenage boys, before he has a chance to kill another one. Once this case is out of the way, maybe then we can… talk again." Danny felt his throat close up on the last words, and he cut off the call before he could let Steve convince him to do something he was sure was only going to cause him more heartache.

~//~ 

It was another three days before they finally got the break they needed in the case; three long and arduous days of sifting through clues, following up leads and asking pointless questions. All of it would have been so much easier with Steve back on duty, but Danny steadfastly refused to think about that. He slogged it out; doing much of the leg-work alone while Kono and Chin worked their way through computer records and supplied him with info.

They ended up staking out Robert Mitchelson – discretely, of course, since his lawyer had personally warned them that if they were caught up close and personal again with a man who had a rock-solid alibi, they'd have a restraining order slapped on them so quickly they'd feel like it had hit all three of them at once. Following him led them to a back-alley that hadn't been on their radar and a worse class of low-life than Danny had realized Hawaii was home to. 

Mitchelson was seen getting out of his car and talking to a teenage boy on one corner for a while, and then he drove off. As he was leaving, it was then that Danny realized they hadn't been the only ones following the man.

It didn't take much after that to work out what was going on. They switched attentions to the new suspect as he lured the teenage boy into his car, and they followed him for a few blocks, certain they had their man as soon as he directed the kid into a motel room and immediately turned off the lights. 

From there it was a simple matter to burst in and catch the guy before he could finish off what he had attempted to begin. Before long they established that the man's DNA matched the samples they had from two of the previous murders, and in one easy sweep the case was over and Five-0 could take a much-needed break.

Danny knew he should go to see Steve; find out what it was the man had wanted to talk to him about, but – coward that he was – he put it off for another day, telling himself he needed the rest and to spend time with Grace before he faced Steve again.

~//~

Something wasn't right, Danny decided as he walked up the path to Steve's house, though he wasn't sure what it was that made him think so. He rolled his eyes at himself as he knocked at the door; it could only be nervousness about seeing Steve after the way they'd parted last time, nothing more.

There was no reply, which was odd. Danny was pretty sure Steve had to be home – his new truck was parked out front and there were windows open on the house. Maybe he was out back on the lanai, or down on the beach. Trying not to believe it was anything other than Steve being out of earshot, Danny rounded the building, scanning the backyard for signs of him.

He didn't see Steve, but the door to the lanai was open, and after hesitating only a moment, Danny went inside.

"Steve?" He bent to pick up something from the floor, muttering to himself, "Jeez, you slob. What happened to your freakishly OCD military habits?" 

Straightening up, he dumped the empty takeout carton in the trash and moved further through the room, taking in the messy sink and table in uneasy surprise. Steve was usually so meticulous, and Pete hadn't presented himself to be any kind of slob – Steve wouldn't have stood for it long if he was – so the disorder seemed doubly unusual.

"Hey, Steve? You here?" 

The smell hit Danny as he crossed the threshold of the living room. "You start your own brewery, buddy?" 

He was just about to ask another question when Danny realized that the pile of clothing on the couch was moving, and the smell clearly emanated from the same vicinity, or perhaps from the large number of empty beer bottles on the coffee table and floor in front of it. 

"Steve?"

A bleary-eyed Steve partly emerged from under the worn blanket on the couch, his hair spiked up unevenly and the stubble on his chin looking a lot more than the one-day growth Steve barely stood before reaching for a razor. His skin looked pale and he coughed roughly, sounding ill. "Go 'way, Danno," he slurred, rolling over and dragging the blanket back over himself.

"Christ, Steve, what the hell is this?" Danny vaguely counted the empty bottles as he moved closer. "I don't talk to you for a few days because I'm working on a case, and you fall off the wagon so spectacularly you'd go up in flames if I held a match near you? How did this happen? Where's Pete?"

Steve muttered something unintelligible from under the blanket and there was a choking sound that could have been another cough or less likely, a sob.

Danny reached to shake his shoulder. "Hey, how drunk are you? Come on, talk to me."

Steve rolled back to face him, the tension in his body evident under Danny's hand. To his complete shock, there were tears spilling from Steve's eyes. "You don' care, Danny. Don't pre-pretend you do. Pete… he's gone. Jesus, what'm I gonna do?" He buried his face in his hands, the sounds he was making now quite obviously the sob Danny hadn't believed possible just a moment ago.

"Gone? As in, left you? When did this happen?" Danny almost couldn't believe it. He stood there, letting the information bounce around inside his head like a lonely brain-cell.

Taking an enormous sniff, Steve managed to stop sobbing, and gave him the most baleful look. "The day I called you. I din't know whatta do." His words were still slurring together, and Danny wondered how long he'd been drinking, though he couldn't spot a bottle with anything still in it.

"Jeez, Steve, this is no answer. How long did it take you to drink all these? Christ if you don't have alcohol poisoning, it's gonna be a miracle."

"Danny, Danny…" and Steve was crying again, evidently too wasted to care how he looked or acted in front of Danny.

Danny scratched at his neck indecisively, then sighed. "C'mon, let's at least get you some coffee." 

~//~//~


	4. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up in his own bed after his 'lost weekend' of booze and recriminations

The inside of Steve's mouth felt like sandpaper, and his head throbbed. He managed to open one eye long enough to see it was daylight, but closing it again seemed like a good idea considering how bright the day seemed and how dull Steve felt.

The last few days were a blur of self-pity and drinking, and Steve wasn't even sure how he'd made it to his own bed from his last memory of being close to wasted on his couch downstairs, but apparently he had somehow; the cracked-open eye had told him that much.

A noise from downstairs made him blink awake properly, and he tried to sit up. His head nearly exploded at the motion, and his stomach roiled. He lay flat again and groaned. Jesus! He had to move – someone was in the house, and there was no way it was Pete; not after how things had ended the other day.

There was a loud crash, making Steve jump, and then "Shit!" in Danny's voice floated up the stairs.

Thank God! Steve managed a smile, followed rapidly by a frown. Thank goodness it was only Danny, not an intruder, but… yeah, not good either. Steve hadn't seen Danny in days, and his last attempt to contact him – and Danny's disinterest in seeing _him_ – had been the straw that broke the camel's back, sending Steve spiraling into self-pity. 

He'd wanted to see Danny after Pete left, but even then he wasn't sure how it would go. Now, it seemed unlikely he'd get what he wanted, despite the presence of Danny here in the house now. Why had he come, how long had he been here, and – more immediately – what was he doing to cause all the noise?

More slowly this time, Steve sat up, wincing at the stabbing pain behind his eyes as he slid towards the edge of the bed. He took a breath before standing, and gingerly made his way to the bathroom, holding on to whatever he could find to support himself as his head continued to spin. At the bathroom mirror, he scowled at his sallow skin and three-day growth before opening the door to reach for Advil. Swallowing two dry, he bent to gulp at a handful of water from the basin to wash them from where they'd stuck in his throat.

Steve lifted his head, shutting the cabinet door again and took another look at himself in the mirror. Frowning slightly, he took note for the first time of what he was wearing: a white t-shirt, one that looked a lot cleaner than the one he'd lived in for the last few days. If he remembered correctly, the one he had been in when he'd started drinking was dark blue. Gazing downwards, he blinked at the pale grey sweatpants he wore. He was almost certain he'd been wearing cargo pants before today, and he definitely didn't remember changing.

How long had Danny been here?

Turning away from the mirror, he moved cautiously but with purpose, leaving the room and heading downstairs.

In the kitchen doorway, he came to a stop, watching Danny with his back to him as he washed dishes in the sink. On the way through, Steve had noted the state of the living room – much improved from when Steve had last been in it – and he smiled half-heartedly at the clean and shiny kitchen; that too was very different from how he remembered.

Clearing his throat, he waited until Danny turned before saying anything. "Thank you."

Danny nodded, his smile uneasy. "You're welcome. How're you feeling?"

"I've been better. I…" Steve moved into the room, managing to find the back of a chair for support, and pulling it out to sit on before his unsteady head made him fall. Placing the arm with the cast on the table, he sighed, and picked at an imagined loose end of the plaster before looking back at Danny, who hadn't moved from where he stood. "I'm sorry, Danny. You didn't need this. Did I call you?"

"No, I… uh, came over after we wrapped the last case and I'd seen Grace and then slept some. I'm sorry I left it so long, but… I figured you had Pete here to keep an eye on you. Seems I was wrong." He looked at Steve, his expression uneasy. "I never figured you for the kind to drown your sorrows in booze when someone left you."

"Me neither," Steve admitted, looking away. The last thing he was about to admit was why he was really drinking. 

Danny made a soft non-committal sound, and then turned back around, going back to washing dishes. Steve studied his back silently for a while, trying to find words, but he wasn't sure what else there was to say. 

After a while, Danny let the water out of the sink, making a show of wiping the counter and drying his hands. He moved over to the coffee machine and reached for mugs, pouring the liquid carefully before bringing the drinks to the table and sliding one across to Steve. "Strong and black, I think," he said, quirking an eyebrow in Steve's direction.

"Yeah, thanks. I guess…" Steve started cautiously, feeling nervous under Danny's scrutiny. "I probably told you what happened?"

"Some," Danny agreed, "Though I'm not sure how much of that was the booze talking."

"He left me; what else is there?"

"You loved him and his leaving made you miserable, and when I didn't have time to talk, you decided to drown your sorrows. For close to three days."

Steve met Danny's eyes before he spoke. "That's just it; I didn't love him." 

Danny squinted at him disbelievingly. "I don't get it."

"Guilt, I guess." Steve shrugged, turning away before he let out the real reason.

"Guilt? You lost it because of guilt? I don't buy that."

"What?" Steve frowned as he looked back at Danny. "I should have… worked harder to keep him."

Danny nodded and sipped from his coffee. "You sure that's it?"

Steve turned his cup around, looking into the coffee as he blew on its surface. He swallowed a hot mouthful and nodded. He _couldn't_ go into the rest of it.

Danny huffed a quiet laugh and drank more coffee. "Last night…"

Steve was suddenly stricken with the thought that he'd said something he shouldn't have to Danny last night. Something that made him clean up after Steve and stay long enough for Steve to wake up this morning. "What did I say?" he said in horror at the thought.

"Very little that made any sense."

"Danny, I…"

Danny waved a hand. "Listen, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. I only stayed to make sure you actually woke up this morning. There's fruit and yoghurt in the fridge if you want it." He stood up. "I should go."

Steve bit at his lip, unable to let any of it out. He nodded, gazing blindly at his coffee as Danny moved past him. "Thank you, again." He just managed to keep the waver out of his voice.

"Welcome," Danny said, and left.

Steve closed his eyes, gripping his cup tightly. He didn't deserve Danny.

~//~//~


	5. Danny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny spends some time with Grace while he thinks about the situation

It was killing Danny not to say more; not to let on how much he'd wanted to stay and comfort Steve. But he had to stay strong and away, and even a little bit aloof for his own sanity. It was way too soon for him to believe that the path was wide open for him to have what he'd wanted for too long now. 

And Steve's words about not loving Pete? They couldn't be true; not after the way they'd been together, Steve's words and actions since his accident notwithstanding. There had to be some kind of love there or Steve wouldn't have wound up such a mess after Pete left.

Danny let out a deep breath as he drove away, trying to shake the idea that there was something about Steve's manner that said a lot more than he'd told Danny. Heading homeward, he stopped to pick up some of Grace's favourite food in preparation for her weekend with him, and tried not to puzzle over the situation any further as he reached home and unlocked the door. His cell buzzed as he dumped the bags in the kitchen, and he frowned as Rachel's face appeared on the screen.

"Rachel?"

"Danny, I know it's supposed to be your weekend with Grace but something's come up and I wondered-"

"Please, Rachel, don't do this to me. Come on? You know how much I've been looking forward to having her after how the last few weeks have been going, and I only got to spend a day with her last time it was my turn."

"I know, Danny, and I'm sorry. It's just… I would have tried to reschedule, but how do you suggest I tell my mother to re-book tickets from the UK to Hawaii when she clearly wanted to surprise us?"

Danny closed his eyes and brought the finger and thumb of his free hand to the bridge of his nose. He _needed_ Grace this weekend; she was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. "Okay, I get it. But… could I at least have her tonight? Please don't make me beg, Rachel."

There was a pause, and then, "Mum's flying in tomorrow; I'll need to collect Grace by nine."

Danny swallowed gratefully, nodding though Rachel couldn't know that. "Thank you. When can I pick her up?"

"I'll have her ready by five."

"Thank you." He'd never meant the words more.

~//~ 

"Why are you so sad, Danno?"

"What sad?" Danny pasted on a smile, looking up at Grace from the sweet kebabs they were making. "We're having fun, aren't we?"

Grace's expression was at odds with her nod. She skewered another marshmallow. "I haven't seen Nana in a long time, Danno. She'll only be here a week."

Danny huffed lightly. "I know that, baby, and I'll live, I promise. I just…" He trailed off, picking a piece of pineapple and sliding it onto his own skewer. Pineapple reminded him of Steve.

He was aware of Grace standing very still, and managed to look up from where he was staring right through the fruit. "What?"

"It's not just Nana, is it?" Grace asked, her brow dipping in that way she had when she sensed something behind his words. 

"How do you do that?" Danny was amazed at how much Grace could read in people's faces already, and she wasn't even twelve.

"Do what, Danno?" She still looked worried, but it was tinged with confusion now.

"Never mind, Monkey. You're right; it's not just Nana." He took a breath, trying to decide how much to say. There was no point hiding too much; he'd only end up having to explain it some day.

Grace put down the kebab she'd been holding; Danny put his own down too, wiping his hands on a cloth and handing it to her. 

"C'mon," he said, taking her hand and leading her to sit on the couch. He turned sideways to face her, the strength of his love for her filling his heart as she gazed trustingly at him.

"What is it, Danno? Is it something to do with Uncle Steve and his accident?"

Danny huffed slightly in surprise. She was incredible, and he silently thanked whatever deity it was smiling down on them that he had such a beautiful and intuitive daughter. "It is. Uncle Steve… well, you know Uncle Steve's friend? The one who-"

"You mean his boyfriend? Pete?"

Danny narrowed his eyes, surprised. "You knew about that?"

"I'm not a baby, Danno. Uncle Steve explained it to me one time."

He hadn't known that, and while it surprised him, he supposed it made sense. And Grace was an accepting, well-rounded kid; why would it have bothered her? He was only surprised that she hadn't mentioned knowing it to him before now. "When did he do that?" he found himself asking.

Grace shrugged. "Ages ago. But we haven't seen much of him since he and Pete have been together and I know…." She hesitated, biting her lip and looking at him with brows furrowed.

"What do you know?" Danny asked gently, taking Grace's hand once more. "It's okay; I'm not gonna get mad."

"You don't like Pete, do you?"

Danny snorted softly, wiping a hand over his mouth. They hadn't discussed Pete at all; how much had Steve said to her and how much had she worked out herself? "Pete's a good guy… or at least he was. He and Uncle Steve broke up."

"They did? Is that why you're sad? For Uncle Steve?"

"Kind of." Danny rocked his head from side to side. "It's a little more complicated than that. It's kinda to do with him not remembering things from before the accident, and kinda because of some things we said to each other."

"Did he… oh Danno, Uncle Steve loves you." Grace shifted forward as she spoke, throwing her arms around Danny and holding on tight. 

Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her and stroked at her hair for a few minutes, unable to speak. Closing his eyes, he breathed in her familiar reassuring smell, and then eased back out of her arms a little so he could look at her face.

"I kinda…" His heart thumped hard as he paused; _should_ he tell her?

"You love him too, don't you, Danno?" This time she had a wistful, almost hopeful look in her eyes, like she was only waiting for him to confirm something she already knew.

"Yeah, baby, I do." 

He hadn't been sure she'd understand this; the whole 'Steve has a boyfriend' situation had been too hard for him to broach with her, but somehow Steve had done it, and Grace obviously grasped enough to know how Steve and Danny both felt about each other. But would she get what that actually meant in terms of how much he was hurting right now; how fragile Steve obviously was and how little Danny wanted to be his rebound, despite how little feeling Steve claimed to have had for Pete after the accident?

"You should go to him, Danno."

"I can't, Grace; not right now." She pulled out of his arms fully, giving him a look that clearly said he was crazy. "It's complicated," he explained. 

He stood from the couch and went back to the kebabs, studying the one he'd abandoned for a second before picking it up to add another marshmallow to it.

Following him, Grace sighed, grabbing the bottle of chocolate sauce. "Why is everything so complicated with grown-ups?" she asked, uncapping the bottle and dribbling some of the contents over the completed kebabs on the dish between them. "He loves you; you love him. He just broke up with his boyfriend and you're lonely. You belong together; why can't you just _be_ together?" She lifted her eyes to meet Danny's as she replaced the sauce bottle on the counter and reached for a kebab.

Danny huffed quietly, allowing her a sad smile as he watched the chocolate sauce smear over her face as she began to eat.

It did sound simple; could it really be that easy?

~//~//~


	6. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's had enough of feeling sorry for himself; he heads back to work

Enough was enough. Steve wasn't doing himself any good by hanging around home any longer, no matter what the doctor said or anyone else thought. His headaches were lessening, and a broken arm wasn't enough on it's own to stop him from working. 

And he'd spent enough time feeling sorry for himself too.

Monday morning, after a jog along the beach (swimming was still out due to the cast) and a good, healthy breakfast, he showered and got dressed for a normal day with Five-0. He headed for the truck – his brand new replacement truck that was virtually identical, albeit a newer model, to the truck he'd crashed off the road that fateful day a few weeks back.

Behind the wheel for the first time since the accident, Steve took a breath, feeling suddenly claustrophobic, and wound down the window. It was a beautiful Hawaiian morning; nothing like the downpour he'd been in that day. Hesitating for only a moment longer, he pushed the key in and started the vehicle. 

"See?" he muttered to himself, and before he could picture anything disturbing or consider what could happen on his way to work, he put the truck in gear and pulled away from the house.

~//~ 

Steve was first into HQ, which he supposed shouldn't have been unexpected, considering the hour, and as far as he knew, they didn't have a case, but somehow he was more than a little surprised that Danny wasn't already there.

Feeling at a loss after so long away, Steve headed for the break room, putting coffee on to brew while he waited for the team to arrive. When they still hadn't shown up by the time the coffee was ready, Steve sat at the table there, nervous about approaching his own office, and concerned that Danny and the others had already gone out to a crime scene that he hadn't been contacted about because no one knew he was back on the job.

The door to the room opened quietly some minutes later, and Steve looked up from his coffee, heart thumping at the sight of Danny in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

Steve let go of his coffee and rubbed his hands awkwardly on the legs of his cargoes, half-smiling nervously. "I can't sit at home alone any more. The headaches are… gone, and I figured I'd be better off working than staying there alone, feeling sorry for myself."

Danny had come into the room properly while Steve was speaking, pouring coffee for himself and leaning back against the counter to study Steve. "The doc cleared you?"

"Uh, sure, yeah," Steve offered without meeting Danny's eyes.

Danny nodded and drank coffee. "Sure he did. But let's face it, if you didn't ignore the rules and do whatever gets you into danger, you wouldn't be the Steve McGarrett we all know and love."

There was a silence that Steve didn't know how to fill as Danny finished speaking, both of them awkwardly aware of how much things had changed since they had last tried to exchange such banter.

Steve couldn't look at Danny, but he was aware of Danny practically holding his breath for a little longer than was natural.

Propelled into action by acute embarrassment, Steve pushed away from the table and stood up. "I should uh… I need to…" he gestured towards the door, finally stealing a glance at Danny who had straightened up from where he was leaning.

Danny looked as lost as Steve felt.

"We got a case?" Steve asked, hoping like hell they did so there was something – anything – to talk about that didn't allude to their erstwhile friendship.

"Actually, no," Danny managed. "Steve, I…"

Steve shook his head, backing out the door. He couldn't face this now.

Idiot that he was for thinking it was time he was back at work, he fled.

~//~ 

Steve found himself parked at the side of the road staring out across the space where he'd left the road that wet afternoon all those weeks earlier. He hadn't been back there since, and wasn't sure what had drawn him there now, except to get away from the increasing discomfort between him and Danny. 

How quickly things could change. He'd met Pete before he'd known how Danny felt about him; how close the depth of emotion that ran between them really was. He'd apparently come to love Pete, and finding out what Danny wanted at completely the wrong time had led to Steve running himself off the road… he snorted to himself and shook his head. It still seemed like a dream sometimes; he could remember so little of the last few months up to and including the accident. 

The sound of another vehicle slowing to a stop behind his truck made Steve frown. This wasn't a well-travelled road and he hadn't expected anyone else to be out here. Glancing in the rear-vision mirror, he muttered to himself, "Of all the…" and opened the door to the vehicle. 

Climbing out, he folded his arms awkwardly, mindful of his cast, and waited until Danny approached.

Danny pushed a hand into a pocket and gestured at the drop beside the road with the other. "Anything coming back?"

"You didn't need to follow me," Steve said instead of answering, a nudge of anger behind the words. "I wasn't about to repeat the exercise, if that was what you were worried about."

Danny smiled tightly. "I didn't think you would. I just figured – once I realized where you were going – that you thought you might remember something if you came out here. I know it must be frustrating-"

"You have no idea how it feels!" Steve bit back any further pained words as he backed away, turning to move closer to the gap in the foliage where his truck had gone over the bank. "Not being able to remember any of it… to even know how I felt about Pete, or what I was feeling that day when I drove out here…" He managed a look back at Danny, who had followed him and was now standing a few paces away, looking pained. "What I wanted… what I was planning to do… I don't even know, Danny, and now… I feel like my whole world is unraveling. I feel like a completely different person."

Danny's whisper was quiet, but in the soft afternoon breeze it carried to Steve perfectly. "Let me help you find your way back?"

Steve spun on his heel and looked at Danny properly. The words held strength; a bedrock of security from the one person he'd always trusted – before the sorry mess they'd found themselves entangled in – but Steve still wasn't sure that Danny was wise to return that trust.

"I may never remember any of it, Danny."

"I can help you try. If that's what you need, babe. It's killing me, seeing how much this is destroying you. I…" Danny lifted his hands up, painting a motion of despair. "While a part of me is scared stiff that if you and I get together now, it'll all be over as soon as you get back to normal – normal for you, anyway…" He shook his head lightly, waving one hand in a very Danny-like way and quirking his lip up at one side as he gazed at Steve. "And I couldn't go through that. Not after everything that's happened."

Steve didn't know what to say. He hadn't imagined for a single second that Danny had entertained thoughts of them being together since the second time he'd found out how Danny felt. He'd simply assumed that everything had changed after the accident and that Danny was done with thinking they could be together; was past feeling that way about him. 

"I can't be your rebound," Danny went on when Steve didn't speak. "But…" He paused, licking at his lip and gazing away across the unruly growth that was beginning to sprawl across the space where Steve's truck had been dragged back up. He met Steve's eyes again. "I can't live like this either, with this…" He waved a hand back and forth, indicating them both. "This – whatever _this_ is – hanging between us; making us… no longer friends."

Steve frowned, his mind swirling with thoughts. "I thought… that's what you wanted; for our friendship to be… over."

"God, no!" Danny moved a step closer. "I… I want… I don't even know how to tell you."

Steve's head hurt. The confusion he felt about the whole situation had him so uncertain about his own feelings that he couldn't begin to make sense of what Danny meant. "I don't know what to do."

"I can see that, babe. But it won't be like this forever. You can get through this." Danny held out a hand. "Let me help? Please?"

Steve looked into Danny's eyes and then at the hand he held out. He'd always trusted Danny to have his back before; why should this be any different? "Okay," he finally agreed, taking hold of Danny's hand.

Danny squeezed his fingers tight, a hesitant grin finding its way onto his face as he pulled Steve in, and then they were hugging, holding on tight to each other. Steve closed his eyes, pressing his face into the curve of Danny's neck and trying not to let the tears out.

Danny stroked his back, spreading a warmth through Steve that he'd thought he'd never feel again. All he wanted was for the moment to last forever, with neither past nor future able to hurt him; the present all he needed for now.

~//~//~


	7. Danny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Steve go on their first date

"Here," Danny said, handing Steve a cup of hot coffee. He sat down next to Steve on the couch in Steve's living room, wrapping his hands around his own cup and sipping carefully as Steve did the same.

Somehow, they'd detached from the limpet-like hug they'd been enfolded in at the crash scene, and without many words being spoken, driven their own vehicles back to Steve's, where Danny had urged Steve to rest on the couch while he made them coffee.

They needed to talk; Danny knew that much, although he was understandably nervous about the way forward. Steve was more fragile than Danny had realized. He knew he had lost his way after Pete left – the lost weekend phase had made him fully aware of that – but Danny hadn't grasped exactly how much Steve's amnesia had shaken the man's confidence until he'd followed him this afternoon and seen the uncertainty in his eyes. 

"I know this is hard for you, Steve, and I hate it. I hate that I didn't see how I felt about you before you got involved with Pete, and I blame myself for not being a man about it sooner."

Steve looked at him at the words, his hazel-blue eyes soft with pain. "It's not your fault I crashed the truck, Danny. No matter what we said to each other or how I was feeling about it; responsibility for that lies fully with me. And I'm the one who… who pushed Pete away. All he wanted… was what we'd had before. It wasn't _his_ fault I couldn't remember what that was."

Danny put his coffee cup down and turned slightly so he could look at Steve without twisting his neck. "Look, we could push blame back and forth for another hour, or we could talk about the way forward now. I can't say I'm unhappy about you being available for us to think about having something together, but I'm sorry about how it happened. Can we leave it at that?"

"Okay." Steve nodded and tried for a smile.

"Hey." Danny took the cup from Steve's trembling fingers and placed it on the coffee table next to his own. "C'mere." 

Reaching for Steve's jaw, Danny leaned in, drawing Steve near enough to kiss. Their lips met softly, and his fingers massaged gently into Steve's short hair behind his ear as the kiss became caressing. Steve's mouth felt exactly as Danny had imagined, although the softness of the kiss was very different from what he was expecting somehow. 

There was a tentativeness to it; like Steve wanted this as much as Danny did but didn't know if he deserved it after all they'd put each other through. But Danny couldn't draw away, and while tongues were barely involved, the continuing motions sent shivers of need right through him.

He drew back after a few minutes – though it was the last thing he wanted to do – nearly breathless, and grinned at the darkening of Steve's eyes and the way his lips looked ready for more.

"We should probably leave it at that for now, babe. I don't wanna… I can't… just fall into bed with you, much as I'd like nothing better right now."

"Why not?" Steve asked, the tension in his posture making it obvious he wanted to reach out and pull Danny back in. 

Before the accident, he probably wouldn't have hesitated; and he'd probably have convinced Danny to sleep with him by sheer determination, but things were different now and it was this vulnerability that Danny wanted to be careful of. "I'm not saying it won't happen soon, Steve, but I want you to be sure it's what you really want before it's too late for us to stop."

Steve looked away, disappointment – or confusion; Danny wasn't sure which – painting his face. "I know you think that because I can't remember what we said when we argued back then that I might change my mind if my memory comes back, but…" He looked back at Danny, a touch of the fierce McGarrett determination in his eyes. "But I won't do that. I'd never hurt you for all the world, Danno."

"I know that, babe. But just for once, instead of charging in with all guns blazing, let's do this my way, huh? God knows we could both use a little wooing, don't you think?"

Steve managed a laugh at that. "That's what you want? Wooing?"

"So I'm a romantic at heart," Danny grinned. "What did you expect?"

"Nothing less," Steve murmured, moving close enough to kiss Danny again.

This time, Danny let the kiss go on until neither of them could breathe. 

~//~ 

Danny was just smoothing his hair into perfect place when the doorbell rang. Oddly, he was nervous. He took a long breath, studying himself one last time in the mirror. He'd dressed with care – not that he didn't always – but it was important to get just the right look for his first date with Steve.

After their talk the other afternoon – and the perfect kiss that had left him feeling exhilarated and strangely hopeful that things would settle down, and that Steve would remember all he needed to if they just took this slowly – he'd left Steve's with the knowledge that the date they'd arranged for two day's later was the exact speed they needed to be moving at. 

Now it was here, and he felt like a teenager about to go to the prom with the girl of his dreams – or in this case, the guy of his dreams.

"Just answer the door, Williams," he told himself as it rang again. He even imagined it sounded impatient this time.

Danny's breath caught as he opened the door, emphasizing the whole 'guy of his dreams' impression he'd just had, but in all honesty, he didn't think Steve had ever looked better. Clearly he'd put more than a little effort into his look tonight too, and if Danny hadn't been determined to keep to the plan of taking it slow, he'd have been more than tempted to drag Steve in through the door and have his wicked way with him on the living room carpet.

"You look good," he managed, offering a nervous smile.

Steve's eyes swept up and down Danny's frame and a small smile made its way to his mouth, his eyes looking bright. "You do too. Shall we go?"

Danny nodded. "Lead on."

Steve nodded back at him and headed to the Camaro while Danny locked his house. To Danny's utter shock, Steve stood next to the passenger door, waiting until Danny unlocked the car before getting in on that side. Danny turned down his mouth, impressed, and slid behind the wheel.

Some fifteen minutes later they were seated in a quiet little Italian restaurant that Danny had found a few months earlier – to his surprise, since he'd begun to wonder if Hawaii's idea of fine cuisine only stretched to surf and turf – and had tried out alone a few times before. The lighting was what he'd thought of as dim enough to make eating alone private, but light enough to be sure that what he was eating was authentically Italian, and it suited their first date perfectly, to his mind.

Steve looked around after they'd studied their menus and were waiting for the server to return. "I like it," he said, offering no more than the simple approval.

"Yeah, it's nice," Danny agreed. "And the food is excellent."

Steve smiled fondly at him. "I never would have thought I'd be agreeing to this, you know."

"I bet," Danny replied. "Your idea of romantic is probably breakfast in your truck at the Rainbow."

"I have been known to… " 

The waiter arrived at that point, and Danny never did hear what Steve had been known to do. 

The evening passed surprisingly easily, with them returning to a shallow echo of their normal banter; one with a teasing feel that made Danny wonder if they'd manage to keep things as slow as they'd planned. Strolling casually along the beach beyond the restaurant afterward, both with hands in pockets and brushing shoulders every few paces – as if keeping apart was an impossibility now they'd come this far – Danny felt more content than he had in months.

"Grace told me to come to you," he admitted, remembering why it was he'd finally made the effort to be honest with Steve.

Steve glanced at him in surprise. "She did?"

"Yeah. She worked out how we felt about each other, you know."

"Wow. She's some kid, Danny."

"Believe me, I know. But… what impressed me most about what she told me was…" Danny took a breath, not sure if bringing up Pete now was such a good idea.

"What, Danny? What did she say?"

"She told me how you explained about you and Pete to her, when I hadn't known how to. And she got it, totally."

Steve shrugged, his hands still deep in his pockets. "I don't remember telling her, but I guess… she's a bright girl, Danny. I know you think you have to protect her from all the things this big bad world can throw at her, but love's love, and she knows that. I guess I must have known that she would understand it."

"Yeah, and that's… that's part of what makes me feel that this could work out, even if you do drive me crazy with your gung-ho attitude to most things in life. You just keep surprising me."

"Feeling's mutual, Danno." Steve put out a hand, stopping Danny in his path, and then he was pulling him in, finding Danny's lips with his own and instigating another of those amazingly gentle but totally mind-blowing kisses.

Danny's knees felt weak by the time they parted and he let out a low breath, desire zinging through every pore. "If you keep doing that, babe, the slow thing is gonna be over before we know it."

Steve quirked a lip, looking like the McGarrett on a mission that Danny knew so well, and waggled his eyebrows deliciously. "Why don't you just admit it, Danny?"

"Admit what?" Danny asked, feeling more than a little bit tempted to forego the slow and careful himself.

"You want to speed our plan up as much as I do."

"How did I know that was coming?"

Steve tugged the hand he was still holding and tilted his head in the direction of the restaurant. "Plans need altering sometimes. I’m ready, babe, and I'm pretty sure you are too. Please?"

~//~//~


	8. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny leave the restaurant and head back to Steve's place

No matter what he'd agreed to with Danny just days before, Steve hadn't been able to stop himself tonight, and in the end, Danny hadn't refused. Their date had anchored Steve somehow, and it felt absolutely right to him to do this now.

Within twenty minutes of the kiss on the shore by the restaurant, they were back at Steve's, Danny pressed against the inside of the front door as Steve slid Danny's tie off, teasing the man's tongue with his own and tucking the fingers of his free hand into the waistband of Danny's trousers.

"Steve, Steve…" Danny panted, pulling Steve's shirt tail out of his slacks and urging him backwards and up the stairs. "You have a bed up there."

"Mmhmm," Steve agreed, unbuttoning and unzipping Danny's pants one-handedly, but allowing Danny to maneuver him in the direction of the bedroom.

"Steve…" Danny was unbuttoning Steve's shirt, but he managed to get words out between kisses as they arrived at the side of Steve's big bed. "You… sure… about… this?" 

Steve twisted sideways, and Danny's back hit the mattress as Steve followed him down, scrabbling to remove the rest of Danny's clothes. "Never been surer, babe." 

It was more awkward getting his own clothes off, slightly hampered as he was by the cast on his arm, but by then, Danny's eagerness meant his shirt merely got unbuttoned and pushed aside, although they somehow managed to remove his trousers completely. 

Then they were sliding against each other, mouths and hands and other body parts moving and rubbing and licking and stroking, until a steady rhythm – a slower one than Steve had imagined he was going to adopt – was established. Their eyes locked as both their hands – jointly wrapped around two cocks – continued to unhurriedly stroke until the inevitable building of pleasure forced their dual explosions; Steve first, followed mere seconds later by Danny, accompanied by the sexiest groan Steve had ever heard. 

The absolute bliss of returned love was all Steve could feel, his heart thumping wildly as he and Danny kissed their way through the aftershocks of what he hoped was to be the first of many such pinnacles of joy together.

Steve didn't want to let Danny go; nor could he stop himself from caressing the skin by Danny's hipbone that was under his fingers.

"Hey, hey, that's… that's kinda ticklish, babe. You wanna stop with the stroking for a while, huh?"

Danny was squirming a little more than a casual stroke from a lover should invoke, and Steve grinned stupidly at him as he lifted his good hand away from the tender spot he'd been handling. "Sorry."

"I didn't say don't touch," Danny murmured, pulling the hand back and wrapping it around himself as he leaned in close enough to kiss Steve once more. "Just quit the tickling, that's all."

Steve studied Danny's face from much closer than they'd ever really looked at one another before, using the fingers of his broken arm to stroke gently into the almost-bedhead Danny was now sporting.

"What do you see?" Danny asked, almost purring as he arched into the touch.

"Something real," Steve answered, amazed that Danny was letting him play with his hair so easily, but then considering what they'd just done, and how much had already escaped its normal styling, it was probably the last thing Danny was thinking of. Steve's grin widened, tears of joy pricking behind his eyes. " _Someone_ real."

Danny studied him back with the same intensity. "You look like you might cry."

Steve blinked, swallowing awkwardly and nodding; words deserting him.

"It's okay," Danny asserted, moving closer and holding him tight. "I'm not gonna disappear. I promise. Whatever it takes, babe. I'm sticking with you."

"I know you will, Danny. You're the only one… the only one who always has," he murmured into Danny's neck, finally swallowing away the threat of tears. Clearly, he was still not fully himself yet.

Danny pulled gently away so they could look at each other once again. "Tell me something, Steve?"

"Anything," Steve offered, knowing it was the truest thing he'd ever said.

Cocking a lop-sided smile, Danny let his fingers wander down Steve's arm, across the cast and to entwine with Steve's where they emerged from the binding. "Do you _want_ to remember it all?"

Steve took a breath. "In all honesty, Danny, I don't know. I feel like… I'm missing some vital moments, and it's like I owe Pete to remember what he and I had, but I… I can't say I'm upset about how things have turned out. A part of me thinks that…" 

He paused, his heart thudding at the idea of revealing so much, but Danny didn't speak, letting him find his own way through. That, as much as anything else, made Steve realize yet another of the reasons why he loved Danny so much – that he knew when to push and when to hold back. 

In the end, perhaps the honesty was all Steve had, and maybe that was part of a gift he owed to Danny.

"Part of me thinks that I don't need to remember. This…" He tapped Danny's chest lightly with two fingers. "This is what's important now, and I guess I'm little worried that if I remember all of that, I could lose _this_." His fingers tightened on Danny's. "And I don't want to do that."

Danny nodded, his brow bunching up as he took in Steve's words. "I can see why you'd wonder about it, but… you don't really believe that, do you?"

"I know that I loved you before I met Pete, and I… I can't remember loving him, so… maybe it's unfounded, but-" Steve cut himself off, taking in the softly stunned look on Danny's face. "What?"

"You… you love me?"

Steve hadn't even been conscious of uttering the words and now he had to rewind what he'd said to grasp it. Despite his embarrassment at having let it out so casually and so soon after they'd come together, he nodded his agreement, a warm smile growing as he admitted the certainty of it.

"I love you, Danny Williams."

"You're such a goofball, Steve McGarrett, but I love you too." 

And in the end, there really wasn't anything else that mattered.

~//~//~//~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, if you want, this is the end of the story. The last chapter, #9, is an epilogue of sorts, so if it pleases you to stop here, don't feel you have to read the last part, but if you want to see how well things turned out after a few more months, there's just a few more words to complete the tale.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's come along for the ride thus far, especially those of you leaving kudos and comments; I'm so grateful to all of you for reading, and for your patience, as I know this slow way of posting isn't for everyone. *hugs*


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's some months down the track and Danny runs into Pete on Steve's birthday

Danny was already late to collect Grace, and had to race to pick up the cake for Steve's birthday on the way. As he put away his cell after assuring Kono he had it under control and all she had to do was make sure Steve didn't get home before him, he glanced at his watch, momentarily taking his eyes off the path ahead.

Someone coming the other way bumped into his right arm and he stopped, about to apologize when he realized who the person was. "Pete?"

Steve's ex looked stunned for a moment as he met Danny's eyes, but he quickly recovered and found his manners. "Danny. How are you?"

"I'm very well, thank you." Danny smiled, feeling vaguely guilty, though he wasn't sure he had reason to be. "And you?"

"I'm good." His brows drew together and Danny thought he saw a little pain behind his smile. Pete licked his lips slowly and tucked one hand into a pocket, gesturing a question with the other. "H-how's Steve? I… uh, keep meaning to check in on him, but…" He broke off, dropping his eyes away briefly before offering Danny what seemed like a carefully crafted look of polite concern.

"He's…uh, good," Danny told him. "The cast's been off for a couple of months and all the physical wounds have healed." He hesitated, unsure whether to say anything about their relationship, or Steve's memory. A few moments of dithering and Danny knew he'd feel bad if he didn't tell the truth. "He still doesn't remember much, and the doctors still say it may never come back, but he… he feels a lot of regret about what he put you through. I do too."

"No, he shouldn't… and neither should you," Pete said. "It was inevitable that things wouldn't work out between us." He worried at his lip, like he was holding something back.

"What do you mean? Why?"

Pete let his eyes search the street past Danny's shoulder for a moment, and then let out a breath. "I always knew he was in love with you. I wanted so much for it not to be true while we were together, but when the accident happened and all he could remember was _you_ , I knew I was fooling myself. It hurt, but I got over it. I met someone else a while ago, and… he's not Steve, but he's a good guy. He helped." 

Danny wasn't sure that his words about getting over it were completely true, going by the hurt he was still seeing in Pete's blue eyes. 

"Anyway, please tell me you guys are together now? Otherwise… it would feel like I left him for nothing."

Danny's lips parted in surprise, words failing him for a second. A new respect for Pete that he hadn't felt before grew in Danny's mind. "Actually, we are." He held his hands up in defense, sure the guy wouldn't want to know just how quickly after their break-up Steve and he had connected. "It didn't happen straight away; he had a rough time when you left, and I was… too busy to see how upset he was for a while."

Nodding thoughtfully, Pete didn't say anything for a moment. Then: "He's happy now though, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Danny told him, sure Pete was more affected by the news than he was willing to admit.

"He makes you happy too, doesn't he?" 

Danny nodded, unwilling to make Pete feel any more pain than necessary. 

"I'm glad… for both of you. Really, Danny, I am." He took Danny's hand before he had a chance to pull away, squeezing it lightly before letting go again. "Tell him… tell him Happy Birthday from me, and…" Pete smiled, his eyes wistful, but somehow less sad for all that. "I wish you both the best. I really mean that."

Danny was more than a little surprised that Pete knew it was Steve's birthday without him saying; there was more to him than Danny had been generous enough to admit at one time. "Thank you. I'll tell him."

With that, Pete nodded at Danny and continued on his way. Danny watched him go for a moment, and remembering the task in hand at last, headed for the bakery. He knew he'd tell Steve about the encounter – all his jealousy for Pete was well past now – and he knew Steve would want to know that Pete had moved on and wasn't curled up in a corner somewhere just because things hadn't worked between them. 

Maybe it would even relieve some of Steve's guilt about Pete.

~//~

It was much later when Danny remembered about the encounter; he'd been distracted by the small surprise party he and Grace and Kono had organized for Steve, and there was too much talking, laughing and eating for him to keep it in mind for long. 

He and Steve were lying comfortably in Steve's bed after everyone was gone and Grace was in the bed in what had become her room there. Danny was on his back, propped up on pillows, with Steve on his side, resting his jaw against one hand as they laughed about Kamekona's gift of free shrimp for a month if Steve would introduce at least one friend a week in that time to the shrimp truck as a new paying customer.

"Speaking of friends…" Danny said, gazing into Steve's laughing eyes. He didn't want to see the laughter replaced by any kind of pain or regret – not now that his happiness was becoming more assured, despite his continued inability to remember so much time – but he couldn't _not_ tell him either. 

Steve must have sensed where he was going with the words though, and his expression grew serious. Dropping his eyes away, Steve sighed as he reached for Danny's nearest hand and stroked at the hairs on the back of it gently. "You saw Pete."

"Yeah. This afternoon when I got the cake. He… he looked well, and he told me he met someone else."

Steve looked up again, his fingers still teasing Danny's hand. "He did?" His expression was almost disappointed; not what Danny had expected.

"Yeah. He asked about you… about us."

"You told him? How'd he take it?" Steve's eyes wandered away again, but he wasn't focusing on anything in the room, and Danny wondered what he was remembering. Despite the certainty that he had nothing to be jealous of any more, Danny felt a prickle of fear.

"Good, actually. He was glad for us; he said he'd have been disappointed if we hadn't got together. He wished us well." He couldn't make himself tell Steve about the residual pain he'd seen in Pete's eyes.

Steve's eyes swiveled back to Danny and he smiled wistfully. "There are times – and I don't say this to hurt you or because I regret any of what we have, babe – just, sometimes I wonder how things would have worked out if I hadn't had that accident. Maybe I'd still be with him, and you and I…"

"Don't go there, Steve. I get that; I completely and utterly understand it. But ifs and buts… you know? You deserve to be happy, and Pete's young and resilient. He's found someone else and moved on." Danny turned the hand under Steve's and took hold of it, moving it to a place over his own heart and holding it so Steve could feel the steady beat of his heart. "There's less time for you and me, buddy, and we need to make the most of how it's turned out."

Steve studied his hand as Danny held it for a while, nodding softly, and then moved closer, offering Danny a kiss as he came to rest over him.

"You're right." 

"Excuse me?" Danny cupped an ear, grinning. "You want to repeat that? It's not often I get to hear you admit that. Maybe I should record it for posterity."

"And maybe you should shut up and _help_ me make the most of it."

Steve's next kiss was enough to both shut Danny up, and to convince him that they were well on the way to making the most of as much time as the universe would allow them.

~//~//~ 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who came the whole way through this epic! I'm so pleased to have finally got the whole story posted. Your support has helped tremendously, and I am grateful for all the encouraging comments throughout.


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